-by Mimi Rothschild
Sometimes we homeschoolers are so quick to defend our choice that we dismiss some real concerns. One of those is loneliness.
Schoolchildren can face some terrible problems with bullying, inappropriate relationships, or peer pressure, but the child who studies at home alone may truly face loneliness. Even if there are other
children in the neighborhood, they may be closer to one another from spending time together in school, and it can be hard for the homeschooled neighbor to join in and feel like a full part of the group.
Those of us with large families may find it hard to imagine that our children could be lonely. Still, the older sibling who helps care for younger children may not feel that the little ones are friends as
much as chores, however beloved. The young child with plenty of older siblings may not have a playmate who likes the “baby games” that are age-appropriate.
Both of these challenges can be met with homeschool groups and associations, church friendships, and community groups. Yet some parents, determined to make sure that their children don’t lack for peer group interaction, set aside their own needs so much that they end up lonely themselves. A parent who stays at home to teach the children can feel isolated. Mothers of infants often feel
starved of adult companionship, but once their children are older, they return to work or community
service and find themselves making new friends. Homeschool moms, lacking the PTA or the professional organization, can find that this isolation stretches out for many more years.
Some things to think about on this subject:
• Don’t expect loneliness. Sometimes we rush to fill our children’s time with structured
activities, when they actually would enjoy time on their own, or benefit from the opportunity to learn
to entertain themselves. Many of us have found that we have gained spiritual insights and growth from time on our own, and it can encourage creativity as well. If your children feel lonely, address it, but don’t go overboard on preventive measures.
• Don’t be afraid of loneliness. Our life experience as adults tells us that there are times in our lives when we have many friends, and times when we have few. Studying the lives of the people in the Bible shows us that God blesses people in groups and on their own. We even know that we can be in the midst of a group of people and still feel loneliness. Loneliness can be what God has planned for us at
some times in our lives.
• Don’t ignore loneliness. If loneliness is a problem for your child, or for you, talk about ways
to arrange more opportunities to be in fellowship with other people. Joining groups can be a solution.
So can inviting friends to visit, developing online friendships, or spending time in service to others.
Homeschool parents especially need to be sure not to neglect their spouses. Caring for children can
become so completely the focus of your household that your marriage takes a back seat to homeschooling, and that can easily lead to feelings of loneliness. Whether this is a time in your life – or your child’s life – when God has a plan for you that involves something you can learn from loneliness, or those feelings of loneliness are telling you to step out of your home and serve others or enjoy fellowship with others, pray for God’s guidance and follow His direction. Deuteronomy 31:8 reminds us, “And the Lord, He it is that doth go before thee; He will be with thee, He will not fail thee, neither forsake thee: fear not, neither be dismayed.”